BEER

1) “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” – Benjamin Franklin


2) “Bring a pitcher of beer every seven minutes until somebody passes out and then bring one every 10 minutes . . .” – Thornton Mellon, Back to School


3) “Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drank, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, “It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.” – Jack Handy, Saturday Night Live



4) “I like beer. On occasion, I will even drink beer to celebrate a major event such as the fall of Communism or the fact that the refrigerator is still working.” – Dave Berry



5) “A woman drove me to drink, and I hadn’t even the courtesy to thank her.” – W.C. Fields



6) “My brother and I used to say that drownin’ in beer was like heaven, eh?” – Bob MacKenzie, Strange Brew



7) “To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.” – Homer Simpson, The Simpsons