Presidents Jokes

Joke # 1
GMA n her family riding an
airpLane
GMA: Wht if I throw 1 check
wrth a million pesos out of d
window 2 make at least 1 PiLipino
hapi?
Mike A: Honey , why nt throw
2 cheks worth half a million
pesos 2 make 2 Pilipinos
hapi?
Luli A: Mom, y not throw 4
cheks wrth quarter of a
million 2 make 4 Plpinos
hapi?
Fnaly her grnddaughter
spoke: Grandma, y nt simply
THROW YOURSELF out of d
window 2 make ALL PiLipinos
hapi?
Ganun?!

Joke #2
May isang bata pumunta sa heaven at nakita niya si San pedro nagbabantay sa labas ng gate at pinapasok siya at maraming orasan nakadikit sa pader at tinanong ng bata si San Pedro
bata: San pedro bakit po ang daming orasan dito sa Heaven
San pedro: kasi ang orasan na yan ay mga ginagawa ng tao kung may nagawang siyang kasalanan gagalaw iyan
bata: ok (tinignan niya ang isang orasan at hindi ito gumagalaw)
bata: San Pedro bakit hindi ito gumagalaw
San Pedro: dahil Madre iyan
bata: ah ok (tinignan niya ang isang orasan at mabagal itong gumalaw)
bata: San pedro bakit po ito ang bagal gumalaw
san pedro: dahil mabait siya hindi siya gaanong nagkakasala
bata: ah ok teka muna nasaan yung kay ate glo
San Pedro: ah kay Gloria na kay Jesus. Ginagawang Electric Fan


Joke #3: SAVE

FVR, Cory and Erap, are about to be executed in front of a firing squad. Each of them is blindfolded and given the chance to call upon the forces of nature to save them. The executioner starts the countdown: ‘10, 9, 8,….’.

FVR shouts, ‘Flood!’. In a sudden, a big wave came. FVR was able to escape because of the commotion.

It’s Cory’s turn. She shouts: ‘Earthquake! ‘. The people watching the execution panicked. She was able to escape.

Erap was wondering what calamity to call. The executioner started counting again: ‘10, 9, 8, 7….’. Erap had a mental block. ‘5, 4, 3, 2, 1…’

Erap shouted: ‘Fire!’.



Joke #4: ERAP IN LIBRARY

Erap in Library

‘What time does the library open?’ Erap on the phone asked.

‘Nine A.M. ‘ came the reply. ‘And what’s the idea of calling me at home in the middle of the night to ask a question like that?’

‘Not until nine A.M.?’ Erap asked in a disappointed voice.

‘No, not till nine A.M.!’ the librarian said.

‘Why do you want to get in before nine A.M.?’

‘ha, who said I wanted to get in?’ Erap sighed sadly. ‘I want to get out!’

Joke #5: IN LABOR

One particular day many years ago, Erap’s wife was having labor pains.

Erap panicked so he called their doctor.

Erap: Hello, doc. My wife is in labor!

Doc: Is she in a lot of pain?

Erap: Yes, doc!

Doc: Is this the first baby?

Erap: No, doc. This is Erap!


Joke #6: ANOTHER EXAMPLE

Teacher: (talking to ERAP) Can you give me an example of a beast of burden?

ERAP: Carabao, ma’am! Teacher: Very good, ERAP. Can you give another example?

ERAP: How about another Carabao?






Joke #7: TESTING

As Erap’s Driver test drive it.

Driver to Erap: Sir, pweding pakitingin kung umiilaw yung parking light as driver switches on the parking light)

Erap: OK, its ON! Gumagana.

Driver: Sir, yung headlights, umiilaw ba? (as driver switches on the headlights)

Erap: OK rin, its ON! Gumagana.

Driver: Sir yung signal light pakitingin? (as driver switches on the signal light)

Erap: Gumagana, ay ayaw, ay gumagana, ay ayaw, ay gumagana, ay ayaw…….